Not In on The Boycott?

This morning, I made some coffee, cooked myself breakfast and sat down to catch up with my social media streams while listening to Biz Markie sing about his friends.

I started with Reddit, laughed then headed over to Twitter to catch up on the Northern California fires and to see if the president said something dumber than the day before. I saw that a friend was leaving his job and exploring new things. I tweeted a congrats and moved on. I was glad to see that Omni, a company I have watched grow since it was on the back of a napkin, step up to help in the fires. I retweeted their efforts. Or maybe it was in Facebook.

And I missed many of the female voices I hear.

Hi Laura. Miss you.

I took Taylor outside to poop. She, of course, decided to just run around and pretend she is in the great outdoors (which means she saw the wet ground and went back inside).

Grabbing a lemon La Croix (fuck Coconut, Ryan Hoover) I sat down to finish my morning reading. I blazed through blogs, did a bit of writing and saw a text message of a thread on FB asking me:

not in on the boycott?

With a request over text to discuss the choice.

“No” I responded. “how I live my life and engage with others is completely mine. Accept it or don’t. Thats on you. I’m comfortable with my choices.”

Was it snippy? Yes it was. Was I annoyed. Yes, I was. I then followed up with the above in Facebook.

I was not annoyed being called out. My friends should call me out.

I was annoyed because I believed it was an assumption that somehow I had failed a movement that I wasn’t part of (I was later corrected, and as usual making assumptions is bad.).

Was I right to be annoyed? Who knows. Probably. Probably not. But it doesn’t matter, because I was.

Why does it matter that this conversation happened? Because it’s all about expectations.

What are the expectations of men and women in this time of rampant reveals of the underbelly of our industries? Should men join every boycott? Wear every pussy hat? Should women stand with fist raised and fingers pointed?

What happens when a man hires a person of color, (even better a woman of color) and the immediate reaction is that he did it because of what has been brought to light? To cover for the past crimes of our gender.

How about when we use the pronoun she/her vs he/him? Or volunteer for women organizations or find ways to have women participate in conversations, conferences and programs?

When did it become alright to make people feel bad for doing the right thing?

Ok, this is now sounding a bit too “woe is me,” and that wasn’t my intent.

Being an “ally” is manifested in many ways but shares a single mission, to be there when being there is important and helpful.

Am I participating in the Twitter boycott? No I am not. I decided that my positive voice adds more value than my silence.

Am I right? Who knows, and that’s a problem.