No, I Won’t Like Your Daughter

There should be rules.

Clear rules.

Rules that are known and accepted.

Rules about when I should, and shouldn’t, like that photo of your daughter on Facebook.

Is she under 2? Done. Like.

Is she over 10? Nope.

And commenting on the photo?

Hell no.

As the old people take over Facebook, more and more of the food photos and the look how cool I am getting drunk photos are being replaced with isn’t my baby, who is totally not a mistake, cute photos and my grown ass kid just got an A on his human sexuality homework photo.

It makes Facebook confusing. I mean, a like is a like, right? But liking a photo of a 12 year old in a leotard in her first dance recital is just kinda creepy. And while I want to support my friends and the exploits of their children, I don’t want to look, or feel, creepy.

I know your kid is cute. And probably accomplished. And you are super stoked and excited for them and want to share your joy with the world.

Cool.

Send me an email. Put me on an enormous email chain that I can pretend to read and the next time we hang out, I promise I will say something really nice like:

“Your kid is awesome. You know, when he did that one thing that one time?”

But don’t make me decide if liking the photo on Facebook is creepy. Because here is the truth:

It’s fucking creepy.